Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
jblosser

Machete (movie)

Recommended Posts

jblosser    17,501

Saw an ad for this last night. Comes out Friday. Looks, well, maybe stupid BUT:

- Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Grindhouse)

- (one of the) Producers is Quentin Tarantino

- Stars:

-- Danny Trejo

-- Steven Segal

-- Michelle Rodriguez - single fap

-- Cheech (either our very own or the other famous one - I'm not sure which)

-- Jessica Alba - triple fap

-- Bobby DeNiro

-- Lindsey Lohan - depending upon drugged-up status, either single, double, or triple fap

-- Rose McGowan - single fap, except years ago when she showed up at some awards thing in a chain-mail dress - that was double fap material

Drug lords, illegal aliens, kung fu, machete fu, assassinations...

- Plot, per IMDB: The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his old friend Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence.

machete_movie_poster.jpg

Edited by jblosser
'ad' only has one 'd'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
psyco1    1,156

So this is the movie that they had a "preview" for in Grindhouse?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
alab32    1,145
Saw an ad for this last night. Comes out Friday. Looks, well, maybe stupid BUT:

That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jblosser    17,501
That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.

BUT... various degrees of hot chicks, guns, machetes, explosions, assorted forms of fu, and our very own Cheech (I think, still not sure), what more could ya want? :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cheech    9,576
BUT... various degrees of hot chicks, guns, machetes, explosions, assorted forms of fu, and our very own Cheech (I think, still not sure), what more could ya want? :D

and lindsey lohan dressed as a nun licking a revolver. Hopefully Rodriguez put a little blow on the barrel to help her along...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jblosser    17,501
and lindsey lohan dressed as a nun licking a revolver. Hopefully Rodriguez put a little blow on the barrel to help her along...

Lotion? Check.

Tissues? Check.

Fapping commences in 3...2...1...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Artmageddon    910
That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.

I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.

This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cheech    9,576
I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.

This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.

Ah, Skinemax. Those were simpler days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
InyaAzz    3,799

Any film RR makes, I'm in.

I've been waiting for this for a LONG time. He had NO plans on making this a full film, but after Grindhouse came out, folks wanted to see it.

Do you realize that after ALL these years making movies, this is Danny Trejo's FIRST starring role?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Casper    22,555
This is going to be AWESOME.

I hope so. Saw a preview for it last night. Definitely want to see it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
alab32    1,145
I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.

This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.

Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.

Edited by alab32

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
InyaAzz    3,799
Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.

Wow...memory lane!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jblosser    17,501
Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.
Wow...memory lane!

Anyone from Columbus remember Qube? Specifically channel P10? 59 seconds of happiness for a 13 year old (plenty of time :lol:).

If you figured out the "safety pin" trick you had all the fellas in the 'hood over to watch whenever the 'rents were gone...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×