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Top 5 Reasons Harleys are Better Than Crotch Rockets


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#1 jblosser

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:19 PM

Not *my* reasons... Arrived in my inbox.

by Pete Schultz
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We've all had the Harley vs. sportbike argument. And if you haven't, you will now.

Sure, it's not the most original subject to argue about. And it solves almost as much as pissing into the wind. But there's a good reason it'll never go away. It's damn entertaining--and more so when it's done in good fun.

Of course, there's a whole group of folks who subscribe to the whole "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" school of reasoning. I can hear my mom saying it now. But if I listened to everything she said, I'd never have started riding motorcycles in the first place. So here we go...

Reason #5: At Some Point, You Might Want to Trade Up
Harley's have resale value! If you ever decide to sell your Harley, it'll have value no matter how hard you rode it!

Because Harleys can be rebuilt and reused, there's always a demand for used bikes and parts. In some instances, vintage or older Harleys will even increase in value. Remember, there are collectors worldwide hoarding motorcycles and anything associated with them, so even your used H-D riding gear can be valuable.

When crotch rockets are sold, they have virtually no resale value. Which is why they're usually used for targets at rifle ranges. Or boat anchors. Of course, crotch rocket riding gear can always be sold to circuses or rodeos for the clowns.

Reason #4: A World of Infinite Possibilities
You can make them your own--Harley-Davidson motorcycles are the most customizable bike in the world.

The Motor Company sells a huge selection of parts and accessories. Harley owners can choose to ride their bike as is or customize it to the max! There's no limit to the choices; paint, chrome, exhaust, handlebars, seats, wheels, front forks. You name it, and you can change it. Plus, there are infinite performance parts available for the motor.

Crotch rocket owners get to choose from plastic bits or flashing colored lights which belong on a Christmas tree. The neon colored helmets--ugh, like the ones with the mohawks--uber-loud leathers and ridiculous racing stickers barely warrant a mention here.

Reason #3: So Where Exactly is That Fire?
Harley riders are in relaxed positions, so we can enjoy cruising in style. We know life isn't a race.

With your feet forward on pegs or floorboards, arms relaxed, and ass planted on a cushioned seat, it's all about the ride. Harleys feel carved from solid steel--they own the road. In contrast, crotch rocket riders whiz around on bikes made from recycled milk and pop jugs. And they ride hunched over with their butts propped up on a hard plastic seat like they have hemorrhoids.

Seriously, who really looks like they're enjoying the ride more? Harley riders? Or the dorks on the day-glow rice grinders? We all know the answer.

Reason #2: The Sound and the Fury
The rumble of the American-made motor, glowing paint, mirrored chrome and lack of plastic make for a motorcycle that commands respect and admiration.

In contrast, crotch rockets are clad in recycled pieces of plastic and make weird noises. Any chrome is simulated, and the motor is so ugly to look at that it's hidden behind a neon-colored plastic cover emblazoned with stickers. Seriously, one look at the mess of pipes and wires behind the faring, and you'll realize why you can barely see any mechanical bits on these bikes.

Unfortunately, you can still hear them. And the exhaust note sounds like a herd of mosquitoes buzzing. It's just plain annoying.

Reason #1: You Had to See This One Coming...
Now, it's not like I'm writing up the recipe for cold fusion. The number one reason Harleys are better than crotch rockets should be obvious.

Which bike do you see more good looking women on back of? No doubt about it, chicks dig Hogs. Look at the passenger seat on an average sport bike. It's the size of a postage stamp and as comfortable as an iron maiden. And while women are more than happy to slip into heels which promise medieval levels of torture, they prefer the laid back riding style--and the bonus vibration--of a proper motorcycle.

The shiny chrome, black leather and trick paint jobs on Harley-Davidson motorcycles will lure the strippers right off the pole and onto the back seat! Good girls go to college, bad girls go everywhere on Harleys!


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#2 Casper

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:28 PM

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. That's priceless.

I'm not hating on Harley's, not at all. I don't have anything against them. But, these would most certainly NOT be my reasons for buying a Harley. :lol:
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#3 kawi kid

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:34 PM

Heeeaaarrrrr da furrrrrriezzzzzzz!!!!!
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#4 NinjaDoc

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:37 PM

Is this a satire :D
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#5 ohiomike

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:39 PM

Ehh, I just scanned it. Some people are just too much. Yep, HD's are different than other bikes. To each his own. Just ride, be safe and make it back home in one piece.
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#6 Casper

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:47 PM

Ehh, I just scanned it. Some people are just too much. Yep, HD's are different than other bikes. To each his own. Just ride, be safe and make it back home in one piece.

Exactly. Saying one is better than the other is ridiculous. It all depends on what you like to do.
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#7 BadTrainDriver

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:50 PM

He's got some valid points...
There might be an HD in my future...
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#8 Beegreenstrings

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:51 PM

Which bike do you see more good looking women on back of?

Are you serious...

Seriously...

You dont want to go there. Some of the stuff I have seen on the back of a Harleys made my stomach roll and made me thankful that the SuperHawk is as quick out of the hole as it is!
I'm not showing off taking off that quick I just want to get the hell away of whatever that was about to attack you on the back of your bike!

:lol:
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#9 jester3681

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:52 PM

I WOULD agree with the customizability thing. Harleys are very, very well supported by both HD and the aftermarket. Everything else is nonsense.
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#10 max power

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:55 PM

Gawd that's retarded, but, I know a ton of people who actually think that way....and every one of them has owned a japanese motorcycle at one point.
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I definitely spent about 5 mins in the middle hugging the pole too. Just, sitting, hugging the pole. lol.


#11 ohiomike

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:06 PM

Which bike do you see more good looking women on back of?

Are you serious...

Seriously...

You dont want to go there. Some of the stuff I have seen on the back of a Harleys made my stomach roll and made me thankful that the SuperHawk is as quick out of the hole as it is!
I'm not showing off taking off that quick I just want to get the hell away of whatever that was about to attack you on the back of your bike!

:lol:


Dude, I was in Myrtle Beach and the ugliest, widest, nastiest ass's I EVER saw on the back of a bike were riding passenger on the crotch rockets that were coming in from the north. Gross doesn't even come close on the nasty scale. Big black, wide, fat, giggling exposed assmeat......YUK!!!!!!! :eek:
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#12 Casper

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:09 PM

Dude, I was in Myrtle Beach and the ugliest, widest, nastiest ass's I EVER saw on the back of a bike were riding passenger on the crotch rockets that were coming in from the north. Gross doesn't even come close on the nasty scale. Big black, wide, fat, giggling exposed assmeat......YUK!!!!!!! :eek:


Harley guys don't get these, EVER.

:D

PS: You're welcome, and some might be NWS.
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#13 ohiomike

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:16 PM

Oh there's skanks riding on HD's too.....I've just never seen any that nasty....lol

This one bike had a huge rear tire. and the passengers cheeks were hanging out beyond the sides of the fenders....lol

Might be that I got caught behind one in (mostly) stop and go traffic through town. Almost seemed like that mammoth crack was talking....
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#14 imprez55

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:17 PM

I WOULD agree with the customizability thing. Harleys are very, very well supported by both HD and the aftermarket. Everything else is nonsense.

Really? The things listed, "paint, chrome, exhaust, handlebars, seats, wheels, front forks" can all be changed on a sportbike as well. Generally these are performance upgrade, but that is kind of the point (along with the riding position).

I really didn't find it that funny; it sounded like too serious of a comment to take as a joke, and too ignorant of both Harleys AND sportbikes to take as a legitimate argument.
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#15 Isaac's Papa

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:50 PM

...I'd post something, but I don't want you HD fags getting all butthurt.
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#16 Anden

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:01 PM

Umbrella girls. HD folks just lost their argument. Ha-ha.
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#17 CBBaron

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:20 PM

Reason #5: At Some Point, You Might Want to Trade Up
Harley's have resale value!

Used to have a point there. Still probably true mostly because Harleys never change and sportbike technology improves much more rapidly.


Reason #4: A World of Infinite Possibilities
You can make them your own--Harley-Davidson motorcycles are the most customizable bike in the world.

HDs are the best selling bikes and its mostly about the image. So there is a large amount of image based aftermarket for the bikes. Plus the bikes never change so there are going to be more choices available than for any sportbike model.
But its not hard to customize a sportbike either. Lots of performance goodies and the plastic this article hates on provides a nice canvas if you wish to be more artistic

Reason #3: So Where Exactly is That Fire?
Harley riders are in relaxed positions, so we can enjoy cruising in style. We know life isn't a race.

Matter of opinion. Neither is very comfortable to me which is why I ride a standard.

Reason #2: The Sound and the Fury
The rumble of the American-made motor, glowing paint, mirrored chrome and lack of plastic make for a motorcycle that commands respect and admiration.

Matter of opinion. I hate loud bikes of either persuasion.

Reason #1: You Had to See This One Coming...
Now, it's not like I'm writing up the recipe for cold fusion. The number one reason Harleys are better than crotch rockets should be obvious.

Must be different where this person is from. The average HD rider I see is old and overweight. The women are similar. Rockets are much more popular with the teenagers and twenty somethings and the women on the back are the same.
Sorry I think this is a big fail. Though I agree about the tiny hard seats sportbikes have.

Craig
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#18 Pokey

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:23 PM

I have totally enjoyed every Harley I have ridden, and they can be ridden at a pretty good pace too.;) As for the best women on back of bikes.....gotta give that to the crotchrocket wenches "AKA seatcovers".
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#19 Isaac's Papa

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:28 PM

I rode a 2007 RoadKing, and didn't want to give it back. Granted, that was pretty much all 4-lane roads. I rode a Victory up/down OH-800, and that was fun.. but not very comfortable. I'll take my ugly "crotchrocket" any day of the week.
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#20 Jst2fst

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:56 PM

This just made me laugh on break I needed that.
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