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Machete (movie)


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#1 jblosser

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:16 AM

Saw an ad for this last night. Comes out Friday. Looks, well, maybe stupid BUT:

- Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Grindhouse)
- (one of the) Producers is Quentin Tarantino

- Stars:
-- Danny Trejo
-- Steven Segal
-- Michelle Rodriguez - single fap
-- Cheech (either our very own or the other famous one - I'm not sure which)
-- Jessica Alba - triple fap
-- Bobby DeNiro
-- Lindsey Lohan - depending upon drugged-up status, either single, double, or triple fap
-- Rose McGowan - single fap, except years ago when she showed up at some awards thing in a chain-mail dress - that was double fap material

Drug lords, illegal aliens, kung fu, machete fu, assassinations...

- Plot, per IMDB: The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his old friend Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence.

Posted Image

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y5ZrIZvtMU

Edited by jblosser, 31 August 2010 - 08:26 AM.
'ad' only has one 'd'

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#2 psyco1

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:21 AM

So this is the movie that they had a "preview" for in Grindhouse?
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#3 jermattak

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:48 AM

Yes ^
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#4 Cheech

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:51 AM

This is going to be AWESOME.
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Posted Image

and remember, if it can't be done with a hammer, then you have an electrical problem


#5 Bad324

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 09:15 AM

This is going to be AWESOME.


:+15million:
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#6 John

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 09:18 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8cCzltPD6Y

Video is NWS for boobies and language. FYI


this preview is better than the one on TV

Edited by Cdubyah, 31 August 2010 - 01:05 PM.
NWS addition

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#7 alab32

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 09:47 AM

Saw an ad for this last night. Comes out Friday. Looks, well, maybe stupid BUT:


That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.
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#8 jblosser

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:06 AM

That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.


BUT... various degrees of hot chicks, guns, machetes, explosions, assorted forms of fu, and our very own Cheech (I think, still not sure), what more could ya want? :D
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#9 Cheech

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:09 AM

BUT... various degrees of hot chicks, guns, machetes, explosions, assorted forms of fu, and our very own Cheech (I think, still not sure), what more could ya want? :D


and lindsey lohan dressed as a nun licking a revolver. Hopefully Rodriguez put a little blow on the barrel to help her along...
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Posted Image

and remember, if it can't be done with a hammer, then you have an electrical problem


#10 jblosser

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:10 AM

and lindsey lohan dressed as a nun licking a revolver. Hopefully Rodriguez put a little blow on the barrel to help her along...


Lotion? Check.
Tissues? Check.

Fapping commences in 3...2...1...
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#11 Artmageddon

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:37 AM

That is exactly what I was thinking. Looks stupid.



I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.
This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.
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#12 Cheech

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:39 AM

I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.
This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.


Ah, Skinemax. Those were simpler days.
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Posted Image

and remember, if it can't be done with a hammer, then you have an electrical problem


#13 InyaAzz

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 03:39 PM

Any film RR makes, I'm in.

I've been waiting for this for a LONG time. He had NO plans on making this a full film, but after Grindhouse came out, folks wanted to see it.

Do you realize that after ALL these years making movies, this is Danny Trejo's FIRST starring role?
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#14 Casper

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 03:44 PM

This is going to be AWESOME.

I hope so. Saw a preview for it last night. Definitely want to see it.
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#15 alab32

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 09:20 PM

I kinda think that is the point. It is supposed to be cheesy, over the top action and sex. It is an homage to the action films & soft core porn of the 70's and 80's.
This is the kind of crap we hoped was on Cinemax or USA Saturday nights when we were kids and our parents were asleep. The internet wasn't always around, ya know. :)

I think it looks sweet.


Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.

Edited by alab32, 31 August 2010 - 09:43 PM.

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the LORD detests them both

Proverbs 17:15

Live for something rather than die for nothing.
-George Patton

"When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour."
-George Washington

#16 swingset

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 09:40 PM

I got a screener for it. Didn't care for it myself and I like Rodriguez/Tarantino movies.
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#17 InyaAzz

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 07:04 AM

Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.


Wow...memory lane!
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#18 jblosser

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 07:14 AM

Ha ha ha... You brought back memories for me. My parents were too cheap for cinemax though, so I has to try to get a quick picture in the mix of the sliding colors and static. Ha ha ha ha. But the sound worked! lol.


Wow...memory lane!


Anyone from Columbus remember Qube? Specifically channel P10? 59 seconds of happiness for a 13 year old (plenty of time :lol:).

If you figured out the "safety pin" trick you had all the fellas in the 'hood over to watch whenever the 'rents were gone...
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